Joey Janela’s third annual spring break show enters a new era with it being split into two parts. On Friday, legends did battle with modern day stars as TAKA Michinoku faced Orange Cassidy and Shinjiro Otani vied for GCW’s top prize against Nick Gage. Janela also returned to his signature event from injury to battle another man back from an injury in Marko Stunt. The Invisible Man, who made his name in the annual battle royal for Spring Break, battled his brother in what was a unique match.
Since 2017, “Spring Break” has been a showcase of some of the craziest and most fun wrestling action of the year. The first year saw Janela himself rise to prominence just by having his name attached to the event, and it didn’t hurt that a cameo-filled battle royal known as the Clusterf*ck became synonymous with it.
The Invisible Man rose to his greatest fame since the Universal horror days, and the second event gave rise to PCO as he battled WALTER in one of the stiffest matches on American soil in 2018. 2019 sees the event growing so big it’s like Wrestle Kingdom becoming spread out over two days…only with a lot more stoner humor and an even crazier battle royal.
The show started off with Nick Gage’s daughter Joanna doing a video promo and swearing while “For Whom the Bell Tolls” played in the background. She welcomes us to Spring Break III and a GCW chant broke out.
Janela and Penelope Ford came out and got a hero’s welcome before a video package chronicled the knee injury to Marko Stunt and his return. Marko came down and Dave Prazak talked about Marko being in a position to upstage Janela on his own show.
Marko Stunt defeated Joey Janela
Joey ran the ropes and Marko almost threw him into the crowd before a second rope skin the cat saved him. Marko made lewd comments about Joey’s mother and “Now, you’re going to be on the ass end of an ass-kicking.” Joey opted for a German suplex and a Helluva kick. He hit a Brock-esque straight jacket hold German before landing two more with a bridge for 2.
Joey launched Marko into the crowd ala Spike Dudley and opted to crowd surf himself before Marko joined him, leading to a chopfest while both guys were held up by the fans.
Marko escaped and hit a somersault dive off the apron into the chairs before landing a second one. Prazak is usually very good, but he had some major audio problems and could barely be heard. Joey prevented a running knee and hit a flapjack. Penelope got on the apron so Joey could smack Marko into the boot, but it all backfired as Joey almost ate the boot. Marko kissed Penelope and hit Janela with a knee strike.
A sidewinder package piledriver hit for Joey, but it only got two. Janela went for a super package piledriver, but Stunt escaped and shoved him onto the apron, where Janela ate a spike rana on the apron. Stunt got split open and was glassy eyed, so Janela rabbit punched him. Stunt got sent into the ropes but came back with a satellite codebreaker for two.
Janela landed a super cradle shock off the top for 2.9. Penelope was in shock and Marko got a flash cradle for the win.
Janela gave him a kiss and raised his hand high before Marko hugged Penelope and kneeled in the middle of the ring to soak in the applause. This was a fantastic match and a perfect opener.
Ring announcer Rich Palladino lets us know that there are no fewer than three bars in the building, so everyone’s going to have fun tonight. Tony Deppen came out and grabbed the mic. He is bitter over not being showcased on the card in a more prominent position. He called out fans and insulted a few of them before picking on a guy in a wheelchair with no legs (Dustin Thomas) who wasn’t identified. Deppen grabbed him out of the wheelchair and threw him into the ring after Thomas called him a “f*ckin’ pussy”.
Tony Deppen defeated No Legs (aka Dustin Thomas)
Thomas ate a slap, but got a sleeper, then a drop no-toe hold into the ropes and a 619 that the crowd went nuts for. Then, he hit a crossbody off the top for two and a somersault senton off the top to the floor! He’s put over on commentary as using his upper body strength from being in the wheelchair. He climbed up top before he ate a superplex for 2. Thomas hit a tornado DDT and a springboard 450 for 2.9. Deppen landed a shining wizard and knocked him out for the win.
In two matches, they made Stunt seem like a star, Janela out to be the man, and Deppen out to be a massive prick as the guy with no legs shone brightly.
Jungle Boy won a Spring Break Scramble featuring A-Kid vs. Jake Atlas, Australian Suicide, Slim J, and Shane Mercer
Jungle Boy was out to a huge chant for his first match back since his father’s passing
All the guys dove onto Mercer as he just caught them. Atlas and Kid had a flip and armdrag exchange while Slim J hit a giant leaping front kick off the top. Jungle Boy hit a running rana and a springboard legdrop. Mercer put Jungle Boy up in a military press before he started one-arm chokeslamming dudes and launched Jungle Boy to the floor.
Atlas set up a super Pentagon driver, but instead landed a super sidewinder Samoan drop. A-Kid landed a Northern Lights suplex into a standing moonsault for 2. Mercer launched A-Kid into the buckle with an overhead belly to belly. Mercer reminded me a lot of ECW Mike Awesome in that he stood out a ton being in there with smaller guys. Mercer did a ropewalk Death Valley Driver to Slim J while also doing an Old School on Atlas.
Jungle Boy locked on a submission and won it. Everyone raised one another’s hands while the fans sang Jungle Boy’s theme.
GCW World Champion Nick Gage def. Shinjiro Otani
Otami got a nice, respectul intro while Gage was treated like God coming down to Earth.
Things started off with a series of lockups and respectful breaks in the ropes. Otami outwrestled him which was a bit like seeing New Jack go to chain wrestling when fighting is a far better option. Otani wanted a shoulder charge and Gage obliged and won, so he attacked him in the corner and brought in a table. There we go: stick to strengths. They slapped the tar out of each other and Otani chopped him down hard, getting a half crab before Gage got to the ropes.
Otani raked the face with his boot and then stepped on his throat. Otani worked heel perfectly here as a complete prick to Gage whenever possible. Gage fought fire with fire and landed a face wash that Otani no sold, standing up and hitting a German through the table. Otani milked the face rake portion and then booted him so hard that he hit a supposed fan not once, but three times with the boot off each face wash.
A Helluva kick landed for Otani, who is still quite good. Gage landed a series of chops and elbows before getting a flash schoolboy with the trunks to win.
Gage put Otani over and says that he handpicked him because he loved watching him as a kid and he stole his moves because he loved him so much.
Brother vs. Brother Grudge Match: Invisible Man vs. Invisible Stan
Invisible Stan got a chorus of boos coming out. I hope the ref checks him for weapons next. The Invisible Man came out being treated like royalty. Man and Stan got into a standoff to start things off. The ref had his invisible man-seeing glasses on and a forearm exchange broke out before Stan went to the eyes and the fans had none of that. The ref set up chairs and a chair exchange broke out before the ref put some gloves on to check the wound.
The brothers waged war in the crowd before they fell from the balcony to the floor and knocked down the staff on the floor. This got a 2.9. Stan attacked the ref so Kikutaru came in and put the glasses on. He DDTd Stan and gave the glasses to the ref, but it was still just a 2.9. Stan attacked Kikutaru on the apron and a mystery move hit for 2. Then, a spear through the table got the win for the Invisible Man.
The fans threw money in the ring and the ref earned every penny and the singles that wound up there.
TAKA Michinoku defeated Orange Cassidy
Cassidy started things off with a big shoulder charge that didn’t do much. TAKA applied a full nelson, but a slow motion escape allowed him to put his hands in his pockets and land a big dropkick. TAKA destroyed the shades and ate a series of slaps around the body before TAKA landed a poke to the eye.
Cassidy landed a superkick for two. Cassidy went up top, but TAKA went to the other side. Orange tried to land a headbutt, but missed and TAKA got the crossface. Cassidy recovered and OJ’d up, but got hit with a Michinoku driver that ended it. TAKA gave him the juice and Orange gave him his shades.
Starman defeated Ethan Page
Page came out and buried the battle royal for having guys in shorts and shirts, and wanted the Body Guy Extravaganza instead. He got distracted by his own words and lost to Starman via a schoolboy. Starman then unmasked as Virgil. As a result, Virgil now owns Page’s soul and dignity. Page looked absolutely crestfallen and the commentary team put over how the Saturday battle royal will have 10 times more cluster than the 2018 version. Ethan says that he’ll make sure the battle royal is the craziest one of all-time.
Masashi Takeda defeated Jimmy Lloyd in a deathmatch
The canvas was swapped out for the deathmatch. Confetti flew into the ring as Lloyd entered.
Takeda took him down with a headlock and a tackle. Lloyd hit a run-up armdrag and then they just bonked each other with light tubes. Gusset plates were up next and Takeda hit a headbutt with his. Takeda stomped a light tube on the arm of Lloyd, and a light tube Russian legsweep to Lloyd got 2. Lloyd bodychecked tubes into Takeda’s chest three times before snapping them off on his head, sending debris into the crowd. A tube superkick go 2 for Lloyd, but he ate a tube shotgun dropkick.
Takeda brought up a scissor board and kneed it into the chest and one get stuck into his throat…which got two! Well, at least he’s okay. Lloyd hit a series of forearms and a Razor’s Edge into a light tube board and a Tiger driver got 2. Lloyd brought a weedwacker into the ring, but used on Takeda’s arm. Lloyd ate a German through a door filled with light tubes and forks. A swanton onto light tubes go 2.9 for Takeda.
Takeda landed a rising reverse DDT onto tubes to win an absolutely insane match. Lloyd then wanted tubes broken over his head, but Takeda did it on his own head instead.
Wow, what a show this was. There was something for a fan of pretty much any style. Night two will be on Saturday with the Clusterf*ck battle royal and more.