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WWE Raw Report (01/09) – Corpus Christi, Texas

WWE Raw 01/09
We are live in: Corpus Christi, Texas

Commentators: Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler

Raw starts off with a recap of the end of last week’s show where John Cena saves Zack Ryder from being dragged under the ring by Kane.

We cut to ringside. The lights go out and soon after Kane’s music plays. Kane comes down to the ring and grabs a microphone.

He says he sees the disapproving looks and hears the weak little whispers questioning him and wondering why he embraces hate. Not only are they predictable, but they are in denial. They all get up next to a spouse they can’t stand. They go to a job they despise. They come home to children that they say they love, but deep down they think of them as spoiled disappointments. They all live lives filled with pure hate, but they don’t embrace it because they’re either too cowardly or because they’ve filled their lives with delusions of hope…like John Cena.

Cena represents hope, success, and all the things that they aspire to achieve but cannot. When they see John Cena what they should be seeing are their own failures, shortcomings, and unfulfilled dreams.
When they say “Cena Sucks”, what they’re really saying is that they suck. They do because they refuse to embrace the hate bubbling inside them. They like to think of themselves as decent human beings, but they’re liars. They think cheering for an underdog makes them good and decent. Look at Zack Ryder. They made him a star. It proves nothing. He was seconds away from dragging Ryder down to the depths of Hell, but Cena stopped that. Yet all he did was delay the inevitable, because he always gets what he wants, and what he wants are consequences for refusing to embrace hate.

John Cena comes out. He takes his shirt off, runs down to the ring and attacks Kane with rights and lefts before clotheslining him out of the ring. Cena goes after him and the two start trading punches up the ramp. Soon they head into the crowd and towards the backstage area.

We cut to a hallway where Kane and Cena continue to attack each other. Kane slams Cena into doors and drags him out into the parking lot. Cena rights back and tries to knock Kane off a ramp, but Kane stops him and tosses Cena into a stack of pipes and a barrel. Cena retaliates by hitting Kane in the leg with a crowbar. He goes for another shot, but Kane jabs him in the throat. Cena falls into a pile of boxes. When he gets up…Kane has vanished.

-Commercial Break-

Back from break, Lawler and Cole go over a recap of what just occurred between Cena and Kane.

Sheamus comes out and heads to the ring for a tag team match.

We get a replay of last week on Smackdown when Jinder Mahal and Wade
Barrett attacked Sheamus.

Santino Marella comes out and heads to the ring as Sheamus’ partner.

Wade Barrett comes out next. He heads to the ring as the opposing tag team.

Jinder Mahal comes out and heads to the ring as Barrett’s partner.

Match #1

[Sheamus & Santino Marella vs. Jinder Mahal & Wade Barrett]

The bell sounds. Santino and Jinder start things off. Santino goes for a high kick, but Mahal dodges it. Mahal goes for a punch, but Santino blocks and throws his own punches. He tries to whip Jinder, but Mahal counters and hits a knee to the gut. Santino tries to get up but Jinder hits a running kick to the face for a two count. Jinder picks up Santino and tags in Barrett. Wade strikes Santino in the back and drops a rolling neckbreaker for a two count. Wade applies a headlock. Santino fights out of it. Wade whips Santino into the turnbuckle with all his strength and covers for another two count. Barrett drags Santino over to his corner and tags Jinder in. Wade holds up a leg while Mahal kicks at Santino.

Now Jinder applies a headlock before turning it into a half nelson submission. Santino punches his way out, ducks a clothesline, and drops Jinder with a split-legged three-quarter facelock jawbreaker (Santino Stunner). Santino tags Sheamus in. Sheamus knocks Mahal down with two double axe handle clotheslines followed by a body splash into the corner turnbuckle. He clobbers Jinder with blows to the back, gets him out of the corner and drops him with a front powerslam. He knocks Wade off the apron before hitting a recovering Mahal with the Brogue Kick. He tags Santino in. Santino takes out his cobra sock puppet and puts it on. He sets up for The Cobra and hits Jinder with it for the three count.

[Winners via Pinfall: Sheamus & Santino Marella]

We cut to Miz backstage in John Laurinaitis’ office along with David Otunga. He says that it’s not fair that R-Truth has assaulted him twice. Why hasn’t he done anything about it.

Laurinaitis says Miz brought it on himself, and he has a lot on his plate. He’s the special referee for the WWE Championship match at the Royal Rumble, he has a huge Supershow to run tonight, plus it’s the debut of Brodus Clay.

Miz: “Brodus Clay? Who cares?”

He wants John to get him a private security force to protect at all times.

John says he can’t do that, but he has no problem with Miz finding his own protection.

John Laurinaitis: “I’m not little Jimmy. I’m big Johnny.”

Miz walks away looking disgusted. John starts texting on his phone.

Later tonight, CM Punk takes on Jack Swagger, and coming up next is the first inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame class of 2012.

-Commercial Break-

Back, and we are introduced to the first inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame class of 2012.

A promotional video plays, and it’s a tribute to Edge. Edge is the first inductee into the Hall of Fame. A second inductee will be announced later tonight.

We cut to backstage. We see Miz asking Mason Ryan to be his bodyguard. Ryan smirks, shakes his head and walks away leaving Miz angry.

We then cut to Zack Ryder on the phone with his dad. He’s talking about getting back at Kane when Even suddenly appears. Ryder hangs up and asks Eve what’s up.

Eve asks Zack if he’s okay because he seems really traumatized after last week.

Ryder says Kane caught him off guard, but he doesn’t live in fear. He has something to get off his chest. He asks Eve to go out with him. He doesn’t have a match until next week, so they can go out tonight.

Eve thinks about it and accepts. She says it’ll be fun, but she has to face Beth Phoenix in a number one contender’s match for the WWE Diva’s Championship later tonight. Afterwards they can leave.
Zack says he can wait and wishes Beth good luck. He knows she can beat her.

Eve: “You know it.”

Eve leaves, and Zack looks behind his back before walking off. A nearby door opens and Kane peeks out from behind it. He then just as quickly slips away.

-Commercial Break-

Back from break, and Kofi Kingston comes out. He heads down to the ring for a singles match with Daniel Bryan who challenged him earlier today on WWE.com

Daniel Bryan comes out and heads to the ring.

A replay is shown of last week on Smackdown when Daniel Bryan got
Big Show disqualified during their match by provoking Mark Henry.

Match #2

[Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan]

The bell sounds. The two shake hands and grapple. Bryan with an arm lock. Kofi twists out it and applies an arm lock of his own. He whips Daniel, but Bryan counters it and whips Kingston into the turnbuckle. Bryan runs up to him for an attack, but Kofi counters by hitting a pendulum kick. While Bryan is down Kofi springboards off the ropes and hits a cross body for a two count. Kofi sets up for Trouble in Paradise, but Bryan ducks it and grabs Kofi from behind. Kofi bounces off the ropes and Bryan rolls him up for a two count. Kingston uses momentum to roll Bryan down on his shoulders for a two count. Both men are up and Kofi lands a kick to the gut followed by a whip to the turnbuckle. Bryan runs up the turnbuckle and flips behind Kofi. He runs, and Kingston manages to knock him back with an elbow to the face. Kingston now climbs to the top and he goes for another cross body, but Bryan manages to drop Kingston down face first, grab his arm and apply a Lebell Lock submission. Kofi starts tapping.

[Winner via Submission: Daniel Bryan]

Bryan starts celebrating like he just won the World Title. He climbs up on the barricade and commentary table.

Big Show comes out and heads to the ring. Daniel gets in the ring with his title and a microphone. Show has one of his own.

Big Show: “Now about last week…”

Bryan interrupts him and says that he’s thinking the same way Show’s thinking and feeling the same way he’s feeling. He hated the way their World Title match ended. He hated that Mark Henry got involved. The World Heavyweight Championship is much too prestigious to have ended in a disqualification. He’s a fighting champion, and he’ll give Show a World Title match whenever he wants.

Show says he’s happy that he agrees because Teddy Long agrees as well. They’ll have their World Title rematch this Friday on Smackdown, and it’ll be a no disqualification, no count out match, so good luck champ.

Show offers a handshake. Bryan hesitates, but agrees and shakes Show’s hand. Show leaves the ring while Bryan looks on.

Later tonight, Chris Jericho is set to appear again, plus Punk will take on Swagger, and Brodus Clay makes his return.

-Commercial Break-

We come back to highlights of the 1994 Royal Rumble. Both Bret Hart and Lex Luger eliminate each other at the same time which lead to two World Title matches at WrestleMania 10.

Back to ringside, and Justin Roberts announces the in ring debut of man who hails from “Planet Funk”, “The Funkasaurus” Brodus Clay!

Earnest “The Cat” Miller’s old entrance theme plays. Brodus Clay comes out along with two women wearing a red tracksuit and a fedora. He gets in the ring and starts dancing with the women.

Brodus Clay: “Oh you didn’t see that coming!”

The camera cuts to Clay’s opponent, Curt Hawkins, looking on with disinterest. Hawkins heads into the ring for the match.

Match #3

[Brodus Clay vs. Curt Hawkins]

The bell sounds. The two grapple and right away Brodus slams Curt’s face down on the mat. Hawkins gets back up and gets behind Brodus, but Clay starts dancing provocatively causing Hawkins to let go of him out of disgust. Curt punches Brodus in the face, but it has no effect. Hawkins tries to whip Brodus, but Clay doesn’t move, and he whips Hawkins instead. On the rebound Brodus knocks Curt down with a headbutt to the chest. He picks up Hawkins and drops him with an exploder suplex. He waits for Curt to get up against the turnbuckle, runs and hits a running splash followed by a running crossbody for the three count.

[Winner via Pinfall: Brodus Clay]

After the match Brodus goes back to dancing in the ring with the ladies.

The camera cuts to Zack Ryder in the bathroom brushing his teeth. He tells himself that he looks great, amazing, and the best. He’s finally going out with Eve!

A red light shines in the distance. Zack turns around and doesn’t see anyone there. He leaves looking distraught.

We now cut back to Miz who is still trying to get protection. This time he asks Primo and Epico for help. Rosa Mendes turns him down and they leave. CM Punk walks by.

Miz: “What? What?”

Miz leaves and Punk just laughs as he heads to the ring for his match with Jack Swagger.

-Commercial Break-

Back from break and Jack Swagger comes out along with Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler. All three head down to the ring together.

CM Punk comes out next and heads down to the ring as Jack’s opponent.

Match #4

[CM Punk vs. Jack Swagger]

Before the match starts John Laurinaitis comes out with a microphone. He says that in just three weeks at the Royal Rumble he’ll be the guest referee for the Punk/Ziggler WWE Championship match. He says he knows that Punk thinks he can’t be impartial in the match, but just to show that he’s being fair, if Punk beats Swagger here tonight, he and Vickie will be banned from ringside during his WWE Championship match. Also, Dolph will face John Cena later tonight. He tells the referee to ring the bell.

The bell sounds. Punk goes for a tie up, but Jack ducks and grabs Punk’s leg. Both men are sent into the ropes and Punk applies a headlock on Jack. He gets off the ropes. Swagger counters the headlock, twists Punk’s arm and drops him down with a fireman’s carry into an armlock submission. Punk gets up right away and hits a leg takedown on Swagger for a one count. Punk wraps an arm around Jack’s waist, but Swagger makes it to the ropes and elevates himself. Punk lets go and the two separate. They tie up once more. This time Swagger gets behind Punk. Punk grabs Swagger’s arm and switches into a side headlock. Swagger rolls Punk to the mat, but Punk keeps the side headlock applied. Swagger gets up and goes behind Punk. Punk fights out of it and Jack pushes him into a turnbuckle. He goes for a punch, but Punk blocks, kicks Jack twice and scoop slams him. Punk climbs to the top and goes for an elbow drop, but Swagger rolls out of the ring in time. Punk jumps down and gestures for Swagger to get back in. He soon does. Punk goes for another tie up, but Swagger gets behind Punk and pummels him with rights to the back. Swagger then steps on Punk’s back until the ref breaks it with a five count. Swagger gets Punk up and punches him into the ropes. He whips Punk and goes for a clothesline and Punk ducks. He goes for it again, but Punk ducks again. Punk then springboards off the ropes and hits a crossbody on Swagger for a two count.

Swagger gets up and Punk knocks him back down with an elbow. Punk grabs Swagger and punches him against the ropes. He whips Swagger, Swagger counters, drops Punk down on the mat and goes for the anklelock, but Punk kicks Swagger off in time. Swagger’s now lying against the turnbuckle and Punk goes after him, but Swagger kicks Punk in the leg and shoulder tackles him down. Jack lifts up Punk, takes him to the turnbuckle and hits him with knees to the gut. He snapmares Punk down and applies a double arm stretch submission. Punk fights out of it, but before he can do anything else Swagger rolls him up from behind for a two count. Swagger grabs him from behind once more. Punk gets to his feet and hits a couple elbows, but Jack hits another knee and tosses Punk out of the ring. Ziggler goes over to Punk, but Laurinaitis stops him from getting any close. Punk gets back on the apron. Swagger tries to grab him, but Punk slides under the bottom rope and through Swagger’s feet. He gets behind jack and clotheslines him out of the ring. Punk then runs the ropes and suicide dives onto Swagger.

-Commercial Break-

We’re back, and Swagger has Punk in a guillotine choke submission. Punk gets to his feet and stomps on Swagger’s foot twice in order for him to let go. Punk lands a few forearm shots and runs the ropes, but Swagger hits him with a boot to the face for a two count. Swagger lifts up Punk, pushes him into the ropes and punches him in the back. He repeats this, and then drives Punk’s head into the turnbuckle. Punk fights back with punches of his own, but Swagger kicks him. He goes for a snapmare, but Punk fights it off and hits a series of knee strikes to the chest. He then adds on a couple chops to the face followed by a mule kick. He whips Swagger into the ropes and dropkicks him. He then clotheslines him and wraps it up with a swinging neckbreaker.

Swagger against the turnbuckle and Punk hits a running high knee. He goes for the bulldog, but Swagger drops him down on the mat, runs up the turnbuckle and lands a corner slingshot splash for a two count. Swagger yells at Punk to stay down. He goes for a second corner slingshot splash, but Punk raises his feet and strikes Jack in the jaw. Punk rolls on to the apron and goes for a springboard clothesline, but Swagger catches him in midair and drops a powerslam for another two count. Swagger, looking frustrated, lifts up Punk and goes for the gutwrench powerbomb, but Punk counters it into a GTS. Swagger strikes out of it and pushes Punk into the ropes. Swagger with a clothesline attempt, but Punk slides under him. He goes for a roundhouse kick, but Swagger ducks it, grabs Punk and hits a belly to belly suplex for a two count. Swagger lifts Punk up, carries him to a turnbuckle and sets him up at the top. He goes for a superplex, but Punk fights out of it, headbutts Swagger off, and lands the top rope elbow drop for a three count, but Swagger kicks out before then. The ref awards Punk the seemingly controversial win.

[Winner via Pinfall: CM Punk]

Afterwards, John claps for Punk’s win and leaves the ring.

They show a replay of the odd three count.

[Note: I’m not sure if this was a legitimate botch by the referee or not.]

They show a clip of earlier tonight when John Cena and Kane battled in the parking lot.

We cut to Cena backstage with Zack Ryder in mid conversation.

John Cena: “That’s what I call marine biology!”

Zack says thanks to John for all he’s done with Cena helping him win a shot at the U.S. Title and then saving him from Kane last week. He saw Cena chase Kane out, and he’s still weirded out. He’s not sure if it’s Kane or Eve or his title match against Swagger.

Cena interrupts him by saying he left out the most important thing. Zack Ryder passed The Miz on Twitter as one of the top five most followed WWE Superstars. Cena said he told him it was going to get hectic. He says to keep it together and he’ll be fine.

Cena leaves and soon Ryder leaves as well, but still looking behind his back.

-Commercial Break-

We come back to The Bella Twins arguing over who the A-Lister is.

Ricardo Rodriguez goes over to them and asks them why they made him come over from Mexico.

The Bellas say they want him to give a message to Alberto Del Rio.

He asks them why they don’t use a cell phone.

As they’re about to say their message Miz interrupts them. He says Alberto can wait. He then adds that Ricardo is going to head to the ring and call out R-Truth.

Ricardo: “That’s loco.”

No, no it’s not. Miz says that ever other superstar is scared of R-Truth, so he’s going to make Ricardo do it. He’s going to march out to the ring and say the most offensive things he can think off to draw R-Truth out. Then he’ll do the rest.

Ricardo says that’s not going to happen.

Miz says it is because if it doesn’t he’s going to have him join Alberto on the injured list right now.

Ricardo asks the Bellas if they’ll join him to the ring.

The Bellas: “Absolutely not!”

They leave. Miz tells him to go to the ring right now. Ricardo leaves.

We cut back to Lawler and Cole. They introduce the second inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2012.

A promotional package plays of The Four Horsemen: Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Barry Windham, Tully Blanchard, and J.J. Dillon. All the members are being added as a single induction.

We cut back to the ring. Ricardo is in the ring with a microphone. He looks really nervous. He hopes Miz is watching this. He starts insulting R-Truth by saying that his mother is ugly, he smells, and his breath stinks.

R-Truth comes out, smells himself, and heads down to the ring with a microphone.

R-Truth: “Oh Lucy, i’m home!”

Hola Ricardo! R-Truth doesn’t know why Ricardo wants to pick a fight with him. He’s got it all wrong. He’s not a bad man. He’s a goooood R-Truth. In fact, little Jimmy told him that he should let bygones be bygones and let him go. He asks the fans (“Little Jimmy”) if he should let Ricardo go.

They say no.

R-Truth: “UH OH! Little Jimmy don’t think much of you, Ricardo!”

Truth says that Little Jimmy wants to turn Ricardo into a human piƱata.

Ricardo cries out to Miz.

Truth tells Ricardo he’s bugging out like a little cockroach. He asks if he’ll sing him and little Jimmy the song “La Cucaracha”. He tells him he has to sing from the diaphragm.

Ricardo says he has experience with this, and sure enough he starts singing the song. He even adds a little Remix to it.

Truth tells him to sing it “one more time”, and Ricardo smacks Truth’s microphone to the ground. Truth gives him a crazy look and drops him with a jumping reverse STO.

Truth gets up and Miz suddenly comes out of nowhere and knocks Truth down. Ricardo rolls out of the ring. Miz throws down punches and kicks to the head. He picks up Truth and hits a few knees to the face. Miz picks up Truth, but Truth pokes him in the eye, tackles him and lands some punches of his own, but Miz rolls out of the ring and runs into the crowd. Truth heads back into the ring and starts talking to himself.

Coming up, John Cena takes on Dolph Ziggler, and Chris Jericho is scheduled to come out.

-Commercial Break-

Back from break and Justin Roberts announces Chris Jericho to the ring.

The lights go out. Seconds later the lighted up jacket appears on screen. The lights come back on and Jericho makes his way to the ring. Once in the ring he starts pointing to the fans to get them to cheer much like he did last week, a big smile still on his face. Chris exits the ring and high fives all the fans at ringside. He heads back into the ring and taunts the crowd some more. Jericho grabs a microphone and waits for his music to die down. The fans cheer Jericho on, but he remains speechless.

After awhile Jericho’s smile fades and he starts to get misty eyed, and then it turns into full on crying. Jericho keeps crying while the fans continue to chant for him. He can’t seem to stop crying. He tries to say something, but he’s crying too much to continue. He drops the microphone and exits the ring while crying. Once at the top of the ramp he gives the fans a thumbs up and heads backstage.

Once again, Chris Jericho doesn’t say a word.

-Commercial Break-

We get another Royal Rumble highlight, this time of the 1998 Rumble. Austin wins the Rumble for the second time and goes on to face Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania 14.

Back to the ring and Eve comes out. She heads to the ring for her match with Beth Phoenix.

Instead of Beth, Kane’s music plays and the lights turn red. Eve looks frightened and exits the ring. Zack Ryder comes out, grabs Eve and runs backstage with her.

We cut to Zack and Eve in the parking lot. He puts Eve in the passenger seat of his car and goes to leave, but notices that he has a flat tire that was likely cut by Kane. Ryder tells Eve to stay in the car and he tries to replace the tire.

Up next, John Cena takes on Dolph Ziggler.

-Commercial Break-

We’re back from the final commercial break and Ryder is still trying to replace the flat tire. Eve tells him to hurry up so they can leave.

We cut back to the ring. Dolph Ziggler is already in the ring and he’s introduced.

John Cena then comes out and heads down to the ring.

Match #5

[John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler]

The bell sounds. Cena and Ziggler grapple. Ziggler applies a side headlock and Cena pushes him off the ropes. Cena goes for a clothesline and misses. Goes for another clothesline and misses again. On the rebound Dolph stops himself at the ropes and struts across the ring. He and Cena tie up once more. Another side headlock to Cena, and Cena pushes him off into the turnbuckle Ziggler stumbles back and Cena hits a drop toe hold. He grabs the leg and Ziggler kicks him off. Ziggler gets up, runs at Cena and hits a bulldog legdrop for a two count. Ziggler kicks and punches Cena into a corner, and them stomps him down on the mat. Ziggler lifts Cena up and applies a headlock submission. Ziggler adds to it by flipping over Cena and bridging the headlock. He then does a headstand while still applying the headlock. Cena fights back up and hits a back suplex on Ziggler. Cena gets to his feet and charges at Dolph, but Ziggler steps aside and Cena hits the turnbuckle hard. Dolph drops one, two, three, four, five, six elbows in a row and then starts doing sit ups in the ring. He then goes for a jumping elbow, but Cena rolls out of the way. Cena gets up, runs the ropes and shoulder tackles Dolph twice. He ducks a clothesline and hits a spin-out powerbomb.

Cena goes for Five Knuckle Shuffle, but the camera cuts to Ryder still trying to get the wheel onto his car. Cena watches this from the Titantron. Kane suddenly appears and starts choking out Ryder against the car while Eve screams for help.

Cena, distracted by Kane’s assault, is grabbed by Ziggler from behind. Ziggler applies the sleeper hold submission.

Meanwhile, Kane starts assaulting Ryder in the same section of the parking lot that he and Cena were at earlier tonight. Kane then grabs Ryder by the neck and chokeslams him off the ramp.

Cena, who somehow manages to get out of the sleeper hold, watches Kane on the tron. He leaves the ring to go after Kane, but Ziggler once again applies the sleeper hold to Cena. Cena rams Ziggler into the steel steps. Once released, Cena runs up the ramp and heads backstage to stop Kane. Vickie tells Ziggler to get back in the ring, but it looks like there’s not going to be an ending to the match.

[No Contest]

We cut to Cena who’s now backstage looking for Kane. He heads outside but doesn’t see Kane anywhere. Kane suddenly attacks Cena from behind and kicks him to the ground. He grabs Cena’s face and suffocates him much like he did in previous weeks. We can also see Ryder unconscious on top of wooden planks at the bottom of the ramp. Kane lets go of Cena, who’s passed out by this point, and stands tall over both of them as the show comes to an abrupt end.

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